Jan 31,2018

Let’s talk about mental health

[Previous entry] Because it’s #BellLetsTalk day about mental health awareness… let’s talk. I’m currently on seven regular medications, which doesn’t include the shit they pump into me during my chemotherapy and immunotherapy: 40 mg Pantoprazole every morning for heartburn I got from all my other medications 10 mg Metoclopramide for nausea from the chemo, as Read More

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Around 5 minutes and 37 seconds to read

Jan 16,2018

When is a good time to have a physical, spiritual, and mental crisis? Well, never.

[Previous entry] That’s what I’m in right now, a crisis. A marathon of a crisis. Six months of chemotherapy and maybe surgery after. A long time, a half a year at least, almost the gestation period of a baby. Or two. After a few good days and the ability to keep my spirits through the Read More

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Around 13 minutes and 59 seconds to read

Jan 15,2018

27-year-old who dies of cancer has the internet in tears with her last message

[Previous entry] God damn it. It’s supremely unfair of me to be so rageful toward anyone who is sharing that clickbait article right now. I thought to myself, You shouldn’t be angry. I mean, God knows that if I die of this cancer inside of me, I sure as hell would like George Takei to publish Read More

Around 5 minutes and 15 seconds to read

Jan 11,2018

Life is about uncertainty, I guess, if it has to be

[Previous entry] A lot of what I have to work through is letting go of being worried about uncertainty, but it’s not just future uncertainty, it’s past, too. No one has any idea when the cancer started. This wasn’t the plan, you know: the plan was that at age forty, I would start getting my Read More

Around 7 minutes and 51 seconds to read

Jan 10,2018

My recurring dreams explained – #4 is disturbing

[Previous entry] I don’t know about anyone else, but my recurring dreams always follow the same themes but not the play-by-play. They’ve changed as I’ve gotten older, but generally at any one point in time, I have about several that cycle through my brain at night. When I was younger, I read a book about Read More

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Around 9 minutes and 2 seconds to read

Jan 02,2018

First chemotherapy after the new year

[Previous entry] I’m doing what I can to start the new year right: kicking cancer’s ass. I get tucked into the corner at one of the stations that afford more privacy, which I love. They’ve honed the chemotherapy-only day to a two-ad-a-half-hour operation, an hour and a half of which is me doped out on Read More

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Around 9 minutes and 18 seconds to read

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